Apathy and Poverty

First of all, I have to say, Slumdog is an amazing movie. You should go see it, right now. I saw it tonight with some friends and plan on seeing it again. I'm not going to lie, it's difficult to watch... my friend Kate described it like this "...it's like the movie carved up my heart.. and then gave it a hug" No, but honestly and in all seriousness, I feel like this movie is the kind of thing that breaks your heart and makes you feel uncomfortable, because we want to believe that we live in a good, somewhat fair, and happy world; however sometimes we need (or at least I need) to be slapped in the face with the reality of what the world is like... especially in developing countries. It's just too easy to be apathetic about and, as a result, forget. And I'm really ashamed to admit it, but I've been doing a lot of that lately. Here I am, spending 4 months in a "third world" country, and I'm largely oblivious and indifferent to the poverty and corruption around me.
So, that's what I want to write about tonight... Because I want you guys to understand what my experience has been of Mexico, in terms of social class and such, but also because I need to sort of confess my growing apathy. So, basically... the school I'm going to while I'm here (UDLAP) is supposedly one of the best in Mexico, which means that the kids I go to school with are some of the most privileged. That means that I am surrounded by designer labels, nice cars, and well-traveled (something that I particularly envy) people every day. On the other hand, I see the evidences of poverty around me every day, too... when I go to the school I teach at and see how few resources they have, when I see people begging or doing humiliating things like dressing up as clowns and juggling in the middle of stopped traffic for the few pesos that people pass them out of their car windows... etc.
So, basically it's like I'm in two worlds at once... only I spend most of my time on campus or with students, so that's the part that affects me most. And because most of the Mexican people I've met are significantly well off, it's easy to forget that the majority of people here do live in poverty. So, even though I'm in an environment where there's a lot of poverty, I've actually been getting more caught up in materialistic things since I've been here.
Which brings me to tonight.. and Slumdog. I won't give away details for anyone reading who hasn't seen it, but basically the main character is a poor kid in India who experiences a lot of injustice and trauma. While I was watching the movie, I noticed a few things that made me uncomfortable. And not just because bad things were happening, but because they made me realize how much I've changed and how apathetic I've become to poverty. For example, in one part, there were kids begging for money because they were forced to.. and while I was watching, I suddenly had the thought, "Wait, I see kids begging (or selling whatever they can just to make a few pesos) pretty regularly. When was the last time I payed all that much attention?" Seeing those types of things used to make me want to go out and change the world. But as I've gotten older and begun to realize just how complicated problems like poverty are, entrenched in history and corruption, at some point I became disillusioned, which led to increasing apathy. But since when has it been ok to sit back and accept things like poverty, exploitation, and corruption? To act like it's only an option, rather than a responsibility, to do something about it?
This movie made me wake up. I need to stop being passive and consumeristic, because I'm already getting sick of it. Instead, I intend to find out how God wants to use me here. I don't know what that will mean, and don't worry, Mom, I'm not delusional; I'm not taking it upon myself to single handedly eradicate Mexican poverty or anything like that. But I'm here, and I don't have a good reason why I shouldn't be doing something constructive. Maybe that means investing more time into my teaching or doing something special for the kids at the school.. maybe it means something else. But I'm definitely going to be keeping my eyes more open, because when it comes down to it, having a new Coach purse or taking a trip to Cancun is not going to make me feel any more fulfilled than I am right now.
Sorry if this came across as being really cliche... but I am willing to run that risk ; )